I love this article! I agree 100% with your findings, I just never really thought about it until you put it in words for me.
I love the freedom that I find in older age (I am 85). Of major importance is: good family and friend relations, financial stability, and good health. At 85, I have less responsibility to others, more free time and many interests to explore.
Beautiful: thx 4 sharing. Ah! — & time unfolds each day's beauty without the press of regimented hours. To leisurely enjoy a grandchild's play is a bounty not measured by youth's wage. There's so much more in autumn's resplendent sunset that more than compensates for summer's blazing heat —no regrets entering winter.
Such positive feedback and great recommendations. An important article. At 88 and trying daily to adjust to the person I am “now”, rather than was “then”, a couple of recent life incidents. I use Apple Airtags to keep track of a few important items, keys, car, cane, etc. specs., but an airtag occasionally requires a battery change. In principle, quite simple…press down and turn slightly to open. This action has become impossible for me. A product defect? I go to an Apple Store and a nice young man demonstrates the opening process, and indeed it is basically very simple: press slightly and turn the disc. Impossible! I finally realize, despite many attempts, and “tricks”, the problem lies in my thinner skin and lack of strength. Solution therefore: 1) be patient, while 2) awaiting the visit of a younger stronger friend to assist me. Simple, elegant solution! But, requires mental adjustment rather than the “beat-myself-up-because-I-can’t-fix-it-NOW”!
Second “incident”: I recently attended the funeral of a dear friend of some 50 years. The following days were beset by lack of energy, lack of desire to read, watch, walk, or face the day. I tried to blame the grey mornings. Multiple lists piled up on my desk in an effort to find motivation. I barely made it from one end of the day to the other. Finally I decided to listen to my body, to cease trying to push past inertia, to rest and not flagellate myself for poor “productivity”, to accept that the sadness was deep and profound, and that I should gift myself with “time” and let the sadness work its way through me: to accept that the inertia was not a defect, but a process. This morning I woke to another grey day, but noticed a flurry of little birds around the feeder, that the first sip of coffee tasted “really good”, and a thought that maybe I should listen to a particular piece of music. And I notice that I do not “feel” as “heavy” or “despairing” today..
I once had a lovely neighbor and friend, former doctor and opera lover, who at 90 still attended “grand rounds” just to keep in shape, who, diagnosed with terminal cancer, asked me if I would mind taking her to see the Wagner “Ring Cycle” (all four operas!) before she died. I still recall her joy.
I try to remind myself that “Life” = “Lifelong Learning”.
I have found that a healthy spiritual life is very beneficial. Praying and believing along with a strong spiritual support system has made my aortic aneurysm disappear. Listening to the Holy Spirit protected me from a $21,000 financial loss by predatory scammers. I hope everyone finds a relationship with God to spread positive thoughts and emotions and solutions in a negative world.
I'm 73 and have worried about keeping up with who I was , instead of who I am now. It gives me some perspective on aging instead of looking at it as just decline. I'm not now or am I going to be who I was even a couple of years ago..I need to just enjoy what I have in the moment..
Yes! This is so true. I’m happier now that I’m 81. In spite of losses, I still have the capacity to appreciate life. And the only reason I’m not ready to go yet is that I don’t want to miss the party.
What has surprised me is that I now love my own company. Yes I love to meet up with friends and family, but I also love being at home on my own. Or at least with my little dogs company.
Thank you for this uplifting reminder that life is largely what we make it. I have many friends in their 70’s as am I. We look at each day as another beautiful day in paradise. Yes, life is full of pain and suffering and grief. But it is also filled with love, joy and gratitude and beauty. Carpe Diem !
Wow. I was feeling most of this, but didn't realize these were steps to my contentment. Now I'll go back and assess what I might want to work on or let in, in the future. Thanks.
Thank you for this. It’s very refreshing. I do get a lot of newsletters that I want to get about how to take care of our bodies and minds when we are older but all of it is about decline. I know that’s natural and I embrace getting older, but what a refreshing article this was. Thank you so much!
I love this article! I agree 100% with your findings, I just never really thought about it until you put it in words for me.
I love the freedom that I find in older age (I am 85). Of major importance is: good family and friend relations, financial stability, and good health. At 85, I have less responsibility to others, more free time and many interests to explore.
Holley
Beautiful: thx 4 sharing. Ah! — & time unfolds each day's beauty without the press of regimented hours. To leisurely enjoy a grandchild's play is a bounty not measured by youth's wage. There's so much more in autumn's resplendent sunset that more than compensates for summer's blazing heat —no regrets entering winter.
Love it, thank you for commenting!
Such positive feedback and great recommendations. An important article. At 88 and trying daily to adjust to the person I am “now”, rather than was “then”, a couple of recent life incidents. I use Apple Airtags to keep track of a few important items, keys, car, cane, etc. specs., but an airtag occasionally requires a battery change. In principle, quite simple…press down and turn slightly to open. This action has become impossible for me. A product defect? I go to an Apple Store and a nice young man demonstrates the opening process, and indeed it is basically very simple: press slightly and turn the disc. Impossible! I finally realize, despite many attempts, and “tricks”, the problem lies in my thinner skin and lack of strength. Solution therefore: 1) be patient, while 2) awaiting the visit of a younger stronger friend to assist me. Simple, elegant solution! But, requires mental adjustment rather than the “beat-myself-up-because-I-can’t-fix-it-NOW”!
Second “incident”: I recently attended the funeral of a dear friend of some 50 years. The following days were beset by lack of energy, lack of desire to read, watch, walk, or face the day. I tried to blame the grey mornings. Multiple lists piled up on my desk in an effort to find motivation. I barely made it from one end of the day to the other. Finally I decided to listen to my body, to cease trying to push past inertia, to rest and not flagellate myself for poor “productivity”, to accept that the sadness was deep and profound, and that I should gift myself with “time” and let the sadness work its way through me: to accept that the inertia was not a defect, but a process. This morning I woke to another grey day, but noticed a flurry of little birds around the feeder, that the first sip of coffee tasted “really good”, and a thought that maybe I should listen to a particular piece of music. And I notice that I do not “feel” as “heavy” or “despairing” today..
I once had a lovely neighbor and friend, former doctor and opera lover, who at 90 still attended “grand rounds” just to keep in shape, who, diagnosed with terminal cancer, asked me if I would mind taking her to see the Wagner “Ring Cycle” (all four operas!) before she died. I still recall her joy.
I try to remind myself that “Life” = “Lifelong Learning”.
We need more articles like this to counter the false narrative.
Great column.
I needed this today. Thank you!
I have found that a healthy spiritual life is very beneficial. Praying and believing along with a strong spiritual support system has made my aortic aneurysm disappear. Listening to the Holy Spirit protected me from a $21,000 financial loss by predatory scammers. I hope everyone finds a relationship with God to spread positive thoughts and emotions and solutions in a negative world.
I'm 73 and have worried about keeping up with who I was , instead of who I am now. It gives me some perspective on aging instead of looking at it as just decline. I'm not now or am I going to be who I was even a couple of years ago..I need to just enjoy what I have in the moment..
Yes! This is so true. I’m happier now that I’m 81. In spite of losses, I still have the capacity to appreciate life. And the only reason I’m not ready to go yet is that I don’t want to miss the party.
What has surprised me is that I now love my own company. Yes I love to meet up with friends and family, but I also love being at home on my own. Or at least with my little dogs company.
The line about finally being free from the exhausting performance of earlier life hit me hard.
I don’t think many women realize how much energy went into managing perception, keeping peace, being agreeable, being useful, being “good.”
At some point the body simply stops wanting to carry all that noise.
And honestly?
That feels less like decline and more like freedom.
Much needed and thought provoking. Many thanks.
Thank you for this uplifting reminder that life is largely what we make it. I have many friends in their 70’s as am I. We look at each day as another beautiful day in paradise. Yes, life is full of pain and suffering and grief. But it is also filled with love, joy and gratitude and beauty. Carpe Diem !
Some cultures call these gains wisdom. Perhaps that is why they respect and honor their elderly population.
True!
Wow. I was feeling most of this, but didn't realize these were steps to my contentment. Now I'll go back and assess what I might want to work on or let in, in the future. Thanks.
💯
Thank you for this. It’s very refreshing. I do get a lot of newsletters that I want to get about how to take care of our bodies and minds when we are older but all of it is about decline. I know that’s natural and I embrace getting older, but what a refreshing article this was. Thank you so much!