Having Hannah at Sports Clips wash my hair is one high point of my month. There is nothing sexual about it. Just another human touching me. I look forward to it.
This is mind blowing. Who knew the science behind touch and the need for it went so deep into the psyche. I feel like I need to be more mindful now of something like this for those that I am close to, because it doesn’t sound like this is an age or gender situation. It sounds like it’s a human one and if there’s one thing in the world that none of us wants to see less of… It’s humanity.
Thank you so much for this article. I seen myself in both examples. While my husband was still alive he deteriorated so fast that I feared touching him. He’d reach for my hand but it became less often. After he was gone that 2 week window, yeah it hurt after. Life goes on, days go on, my missing him continued. Then the missing family and friends began. Luckily, I now have a grandson I babysit 3 days a week and he’s hug friendly. A few church lady friends my age require hugs as greetings. It helps immensely. I’ll be showing this article to a few people as a conversation starter.
Thank you for sharing this, Teresa. I’m so sorry for the loss of your husband. What you wrote about him reaching for your hand really stayed with me. It means a lot that you’ll use the article to start conversations about this! 🙏
I find it hard to relate to three term touch starvation when you can be fed in many ways in your own relationships even if the other person doesn't initiate. There are plenty of opportunities in joining friendship circles, sports and dance activities even going to church as long as people are not paranoid re coved people will shake hands rub shoulders in appropriate touch. I have been in circles where awareness of loneliness and isolation of elderly and the importance of touch, they run program of offering washing hand massage which can occur in aged care or group situations.
Like food starvation in some who have diminished appetite some elderly don't realise their social isolation and touch starvation has consequences for mental and physical health.
Starvation when there's food in the pantry or access to touch in your home or community but you don't help yourself is a most unnecessary dilemma.
Thanks, Phillip. I agree that community activities, friendship circles, dance, church, and even simple gestures like a handshake can create more opportunities for touch. I think the harder part is that access and need aren’t always the same thing. Some people may have others around them and still go long periods without the kind of warm, affectionate touch they miss. But your point about actively creating opportunities for connection is an important one.
The deep tissue massage after my physical therapy workout is heavenly. I really look forward to it when im finished with the exercises. It seems like a reward for my body!
As a retired hairdresser who spent hours every day touching people I never realized how important touch is until now. A really great shampoo is fantastic! You don’t comprehend the importance of the nerves in your head until you have to learn them in school and massage them at the shampoo bowl.
A massage, a handshake or a hug, even a pat on the back does wonders for a person.
I’m lucky, we are a family of huggers. Even my older brother from the no hugs era has gotten to the stage where hugging back is normal.
Having Hannah at Sports Clips wash my hair is one high point of my month. There is nothing sexual about it. Just another human touching me. I look forward to it.
This is mind blowing. Who knew the science behind touch and the need for it went so deep into the psyche. I feel like I need to be more mindful now of something like this for those that I am close to, because it doesn’t sound like this is an age or gender situation. It sounds like it’s a human one and if there’s one thing in the world that none of us wants to see less of… It’s humanity.
It really is a human need, at every age. And I think simply becoming more aware of it can change how we show up for the people around us! ❤️
Thank you so much for this article. I seen myself in both examples. While my husband was still alive he deteriorated so fast that I feared touching him. He’d reach for my hand but it became less often. After he was gone that 2 week window, yeah it hurt after. Life goes on, days go on, my missing him continued. Then the missing family and friends began. Luckily, I now have a grandson I babysit 3 days a week and he’s hug friendly. A few church lady friends my age require hugs as greetings. It helps immensely. I’ll be showing this article to a few people as a conversation starter.
Thank you for sharing this, Teresa. I’m so sorry for the loss of your husband. What you wrote about him reaching for your hand really stayed with me. It means a lot that you’ll use the article to start conversations about this! 🙏
I find it hard to relate to three term touch starvation when you can be fed in many ways in your own relationships even if the other person doesn't initiate. There are plenty of opportunities in joining friendship circles, sports and dance activities even going to church as long as people are not paranoid re coved people will shake hands rub shoulders in appropriate touch. I have been in circles where awareness of loneliness and isolation of elderly and the importance of touch, they run program of offering washing hand massage which can occur in aged care or group situations.
Like food starvation in some who have diminished appetite some elderly don't realise their social isolation and touch starvation has consequences for mental and physical health.
Starvation when there's food in the pantry or access to touch in your home or community but you don't help yourself is a most unnecessary dilemma.
Thanks for the discussion.
Thanks, Phillip. I agree that community activities, friendship circles, dance, church, and even simple gestures like a handshake can create more opportunities for touch. I think the harder part is that access and need aren’t always the same thing. Some people may have others around them and still go long periods without the kind of warm, affectionate touch they miss. But your point about actively creating opportunities for connection is an important one.
The deep tissue massage after my physical therapy workout is heavenly. I really look forward to it when im finished with the exercises. It seems like a reward for my body!
Not a woman but as an 80 year old man, I sure can relate. No hair so can't go for that shampoo!
As a retired hairdresser who spent hours every day touching people I never realized how important touch is until now. A really great shampoo is fantastic! You don’t comprehend the importance of the nerves in your head until you have to learn them in school and massage them at the shampoo bowl.
A massage, a handshake or a hug, even a pat on the back does wonders for a person.
I’m lucky, we are a family of huggers. Even my older brother from the no hugs era has gotten to the stage where hugging back is normal.
Touch is essential.
So true Liz! I love getting my hair washed.
Interesting article. The subject of touch, outside of sex, isn't usually addressed.
For me, however, I do not want to be touched. Massage: Eek! Pedicure: just paint my nails please!
And my husband.... DOES! sigh!